Sonder - a realization that every single person around you has a life as complex and varied as your own. That's my own definition of one of my favorite words. I don't even know if it is considered an "official" or sanctioned word, considering that it cannot be found in the acclaimed dictionary by Merriam-Webster, or even on Dictionary.com. Yet, the word is not unknown, and a quick browser search will quickly reveal more in-depth versions of the unofficial definition of this unofficial word.
How quickly we forget that other people exist out of our own little worlds, and that they, like myself, have full and complicated lives. I think the first realization that I had that this wonderful understanding even existed was when I was driving and was stopped at an intersection. Suddenly, I looked up and the person across from me at the intersection was blankly looking in my direction in much the same way that I'm sure that I was vaguely staring in his direction. Instantly, I began to wonder where he was going, if he had family or friends that he was meeting at a fun new restaurant, or whether he was going home alone to a waiting pet, or if he was on his way out of town and was merely passing through. Multitudes of possibilities about who this man was and where he was going were flying through my head. What became an even bigger head explosion was realizing that the 20 or so other cars at this intersection all contained other people with another myriad of possibilities about who they were and where they were headed. Did someone just receive news of a loved ones loss? Was someone rushing to the hospital to be entranced by a newborn baby? Was someone going to see the latest blockbuster at the movie theater? And were they going to get popcorn with extra butter?? These were the important questions my mind had now opened up to me that I would never get the answer to. Not unless I followed one to his or her destination, but that's pretty borderline creepy. Plus, once I found out where they were going, what would I do then? Of course, I didn't follow any one of them and their lives will forever be shrouded in mystery for me, but that's the fun of people watching and living life in general. You get to realize that yours isn't the only life being lived, and that joy and sadness and everything in between is capable of being experienced by every other human being on this planet.
The sense of sonder isn't always there in our waking lives, because how exhausting would it be to have to try and think of a new story for every person you pass by in this life? People watching is honestly my favorite sport, and anytime I get the chance to sit and observe the moving world around me, I make sure to absorb and appreciate the moments of life that I am able to witness in my vicinity. I don't mind going to restaurants alone or to a park on the weekend when there's usually a multitude of people doing a multitude of activities. I'd forgotten how wonderful an airport can be if you have the opportunity to take the time to sit and watch people coming and going. So many different faces, so many different strangers, all with the purpose of going from one place to another. Unless you actively are employed in a place like that, you aren't fully able to experience this grand sense of transition and travel on a daily basis, but maybe that's what makes these experiences so much more exciting for the rest of us. I hope that I never lose my fascination with observing people in general, but if you've never really experienced this, I hope that now you have at lease a hint of a sense of sonder.
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